:: chris*

Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Blowout

Mane en caso de que usted no pudiera notar, en caso de que usted no pudiera ver ésta es mi sangría del corazón antes de usted, éste es yo traga en mis rodillas que estos juegos absurdos me están rasgando aparte sus palabras thoughtless están rompiendo mi corazón usted está rompiendo mi corazón.

When the Math Ain't Workin'

Now everyone who knows me well enough will know that I sometimes think too much, and further, I often make the fatal mistake of thinking with the wrong part - the head when it should be the heart, and the heart when it should be the head.

Let me put two algebraic equations to you:

Equation 1: [a + b + c + d + e] = f

Equation 2: [a + b + c + d + e] ≠ f

And now allow me to insert some (but not exhaustive) classical hypothetical definitions. Note that these definitions are merely examples, which may or may not necessarily apply.

a = propensity for copaceticity;
b = anticipation of current and future capital injection;
c = counterparty exigency;
d = consistent and appropriate execution of jocularity; and
e = a coruscatory disposition (collectively, "the Factors")
f = desired outcome

Now let us examine this framework more closely. Equation 1 is in itself a default setting, or the hypothesis. This is somewhat problematic, as it arrives at this position by virtue of the brain defaulting to the incorrect setting. Equation 1 is also characterised by its inherent self-focused nature.

Equation 2, however, is the equation in practice. The key difference between Equation 1 and Equation 2 is that in Equation 2, the desired outcome is not achieved. It is therefore an unsatisfactory result.

Ipso facto, prima facie, the Factors must be defective if the desired outcome is not achieved. Therein lies the quandry. As the Factors appear to be defective, then they must be corrected in order to for the desired outcome to be achieved.

Arguendo, the Factors are then examined by objective bystanders for the sole purpose of identifying defects. None of which are largely forthcoming. A fortiori, it appears that the defects in the Factors are thus so significant that they can not be rectified.

Quod erat demonstrandum that Equation 1 will never work, and therefore a desired outcome will never be reached by virtue of incurable defects. Therefore, Prometheus remains bound. Hush! For I hear their wings beat, and I feel them nearing again today.

Two Things

1) I went skiing this weekend for the first time in a very long time. We used to ski every winter until the mountain we skiied on erupted (it is a dormant volcano for the most part). I've missed the snow. Took a few photos and have to work out how to get them off my phone now. Gorgeous clear blue skies, snow metres deep.

2) To flag in advance, I am in a bad mood.

Note: The above two points are unrelated.

Oh dear. The day before one of the biggest projects I've ever worked on is due to finish. Some goat causes a fire 5 floors below ours in some government department. The first we hear of it is when the fire alarms go off. At 10.00pm at night, you'd think it was just some tests. But no. It's a proper fire. And having climbed down a whole bunch of stairs and looking back up I could see a floor smoked out. Thank goodness there weren't any flames. So we stand outside, freezing and hungry, waiting to go back in. It didn't really get to happen, because the fire salvage crew turned up, along with 8 fire engines, so I headed off, planning at least to get something for dinner. Well. McDonalds was closed, and so was KFC. And my friend who owns a bar/restaurant had just shut his kitchen. What kind of city do I live in where government bureaucrats start fires, and there is no food at 11.00pm at night?

I'm starting to think there's something wrong with my life if I'm still at work that late, all I've had to eat today is some pizza (thanks Brent!). Maybe. I hardly ever blog any more and I'm way behind (think half a year plus) on emails. Time for another dreamless sleep, methinks.

How Not To Live (aka Days of Our Lives)

6.00 am: Alarm goes off. Semi-wake up. Drift back to sleep.
7.00 am: Wake up in panic, thinking I am running late for work. Drift back to sleep.
7.55 am: Wake up in panic, realising that I am now going to be running slightly late for work.
8.00 am: Turn on iron, jump into shower, shave, brush teeth.
8.15 am: Pick shirt for the day and iron it, choose tie, pick a suit, get changed, run through morning ritual (moisturise, EDT, hair, etc).
8.30 am: Leave home, should be at work, so jump a bus or walk down to work.
8.45 am: Arrive at work, maybe crunch down a couple of Weet-bix (Weetbix kids are Kiwi Kids), check the news and run through emails.

9.00 am - 10.00 pm/12.00 am: Work (sometimes I even get lunch).

10.00 pm/12.00 am: Leave for home.
10.15 pm/12.15 am: Get home, lie down on bed, fall asleep around 1.00 am.

How to be a Perfect...

OK, this is American-based, but I thought it still had its merits ;)

How to be a Perfect Chinese Parent (from the kid's perspective)

1. Be a little more lenient on the 7PM curfew.
2. Don't ask where the other point went when your child comes home with a 99 course grade on his/her report card.
3. Don't "ai-yoh" loudly at your kid's dress habits.
4. Don't blatantly hint about the merits of Hah-phoo (Harvard), Yale-uh (Yale), Stan-phoo (Stanford), and Emeh-I-Tee (MIT).
5. Don't reveal all the intimate details of your kid's life to the entire Chinese community.
6. Don't ask your child, "What are you going to do with you life" if he/she majors in a non-science field.
7. Don't give your son a bowl haircut or your daughter two acres of bangs.
8. Don't try to set your kid up on a date in anticipation of their poor taste or inept social skills.
9. Incorporate other phrases besides "Did you study yet?" into your daily conversations with your children.
10. Don't ask all your kid's friends over the age of 21 if they have a boy/girlfriend yet.

How to Be a Perfect Chinese Kid (from the parent's perspective)

1. Score 1600 on the SAT.
2. Play the violin or piano on the level of a concert performer.
3. Apply to and be accepted by 27 colleges.
4. Have three hobbies: studying, studying, and studying.
5. Go to a prestigious Ivy League university and win enough scholarship to pay for it.
6. Love classical music and detest talking on the telephone.
7. Become a Westinghouse, Presidential, and eventually a Rhodes Scholar.
8. Aspire to be a brain surgeon.
9. Marry a Chinese-American doctor and have perfect, successful children.
10. Love to hear stories about your parents' childhood...especially the one about walking 7 miles to school without shoes.